If only parents could change every year.We could then experience all kind of them. who can guess how im feeling now? i guess no one can guess it right. even if you did, it was a wild guess. i feel so TORN. how i wish i could just jump down and end off my misery. the misery i dun wish to endure anymore. would i ever pull thru this year? This year is my turning point. Everythng is different. I had to take so much torments.I dunnoe why. WHY?! did i change my happiness into torments? or mayb this is wad im gonna get? or mayb just bad luck? so far this year brought me much tears. less than half of the year has pass, and i had teared for a years sorrows.do i really have to feel this way for the rest of the days? or iszit just this year? my friends and family, they made me wad i am now. not sth big, sth hurting to me. i cant feel the connection i had with anyone like i used to have.i want them back.i guess many others are feeling the way i am now, longing for happiness EVERYDAY. n i guess its not everyday we get to be happy lar. but its lyk im only happy for 3 times in a mth now. thats bad. i finally came down to a decision, and that is to blog out wad i feel. but wads the use, the farm dun wana hear my problems cause they have their probs, now, even if i told them, i dun even feel lyk i just told them. its beta to be silent, i guess thats the only happiness im gonna get...
I wrote an entry before this. Its called Finders Keeper, Losers weeper. This time, I played the losers role. i bid farewell to my wallet on thurs. But in this case, the finder returned it.the annoying thng i never get it is tt im supposed to be happy on thurs, but i was sad. and i was supposed to be sad on fri, i turn out to be happy. WHATS this filty shit ALL ABOUT? my results were nothng to celebrate about.Its was atrocious compared to last yr. yar, a piece of advice to sec 2, pls study hard for yr exams in sec 2, cos sec 3s not gonna b the same,cos even if u studied, u only get low marks.u have to work doubly hard to score well. trust me, sec 2 is easy if you really studied it.work hard and pay attention in klass. i regretted being a fool who rather plays than study in sec 2. Now when i feel lyk waking up, its triple the cost.It seems lyk alot to catch up plus facing the procrastination in my mind too. maths. now i find rather interesting.if you put in effort, maths can be fun! haha. though i fail it, i think its pretty fun to figure it out.anyhows back to my wallet, its a long story, but ill cut short.i went to play badminton with nicky tt gang, n after that join clar they all for caps. arghh i was playing with yee the slapping dodging game we had so much fun just lyk we had during sec 2. but well its been quite some time i had so much fun with hao yee. i still remember during sec 2 in klass we used to play so much in klass. den we keep making joelyn luff till peng. aiya all this is starting to trigger the nostalgic emotions! how i wish i can stay close to him forever. hes one of the sweetest guy i can ever get lar, right act cool guy? haha i miss act cool guy seriously. n i noe im always his act cute girl. hahaha anw yar haha those were the days, yar den i think dropped my wallet in the mrt. but when i went to one of the ne line station to collect back they said someone found it at kovan. yar guess i must have left it at kovan first before i board the train.i would lyk the thnk the kind soul anyhows. and for letting me have a chance to visit the police post with miko.haha i mean i had fun answering the report.and making fun of him. haha. tt police guy damm fun to play with.miko say he shuai. yar he quite cute lar. haha yar it was real nice krapping with him. edwin cheoh guy at paya lebar police post.got report go to him. haha. dun let him slack. anyway i think i have not learnt my lesson yet, guess losing my stuffs is a habit. haix anw i thot the world was a piece of land where people dun care about each other.but somehow in a some area will live some kinds souls like me and the fella who return my wallet. haha : )
I should be burying myself into the books n papers but i guess i need some breathing air for now. Arghh its pointless to sit on the table squeezing all the points into my pea brain. I mean I'M SCREWING MID YEAR! omg. I noe im in deep deep shit. n its very annoying to know my hard work didnt get me wad i want. Its the worst exams ive sit for. I have no mood for this. No control over it. I guess sec 2 isnt gonna b like sec 3 anymore. I CAN ALMOST FIND A MILLION DIFFERENCES TO IT. hrm i rather do the difference btw sec 2 n 3 than to find stupid differences in the bloodie sources in hist ,who knows n i might even score high for it. whatever it is, im halfway thru this torture. i cnt give up. it seems lyk eternity but somehow, my sufferings will end this THURSDAY. ask me how important 2 days is to me. ill tell you a good ans.
my cousins bf just passed away this morning. though we dont foster close relation but i somehow think it has affected my mood. i feel sad. my cousin is strong enuff to pull thru because she trusted him into gods hand. lord, bless my cousin to give her the spiritual courage to go on. i noe she will. im very sure of that because this is wad winnie replied in her msg says, "i will stay strong in the lord. god is my greatest love n comforter.ill rest in him. cos chris is with god. Take care."
arghhh i did sth really stupid today!i dont wana do what i did anymmmmmooorrreeee ever ever ever ever again!!!i totally look lyk a complete stupid idiot!!i promise myself i wun do the stupid thng again!lar....hahas.i grown an instant stupid hatred to myself now.STUPID SHIT!another stupid thng. i completely forgot abt my stupid correction tape.stupid aiya again! the only thng not stupid today was the release from the early mornings!!!!hahaha.this is the stupidiest day ive ever lived so far!!argghhhh so many stupid thngs happen today!!! its S T U P I D to read this!